Writers Block

Almost a full week has past since I last sat here and spilled the thoughts that been over flowing in my head. I've come to realize that regular bloggers must be partially schizophrenic since in the short week that Ive been tackling this I cant seem to quiet the running narrative in my head w/everything I do. If I start talking about myself in third person I will seek help. The problem seems to stem from what to write. As I'm doing dishes a task that I cant seem to get away from being our woe-some lack of a dishwasher, I think how this simple act of cleaning could be a full page in itself. When we moved here and I found out we were getting a house sans dishwasher I pretty much thought that was the end to my blissfull fantasy I had created in my head. Now as I look at my clean counters, no running or full dishwasher forever beckoning me, I think things that are meant to make our lives easier, end up making it more complicated. How in the same time it took me to unload and load my dishwasher before, I have now cleared and washed by hand all dirty dishes and there isn't the impending putting away still looming. Will our next house have a dishwasher? probably. Will I use it? I don't really know.

This old place also has a laundry line out back. Yes I actually had to Google instructions on hanging clothes out. Not something I'm proud of mind you but after you have almost an entire load of wet clothes strewn across your barely grass laden "yard" you too would search for a better way. The best way Ive found is to simply keep alot of hangers out there and just hang it all on hangers and then transfer straight to the closet. I try to hang out as much as I can except socks, undies and towels (they get too scratchy) and I'm a sucker for a soft towel.

When we were leaving Tucson one of my coworkers told me I sounded like I was retiring. Not exactly, but I am searching for something simpler. Doing things ourselves. Taking responsibility for how my children become individuals that make a difference. Lettuce doesn't come from a bag and a little breading on your friend in the backyard and you've got a nugget. This is real life and I feel like I'm finally doing something that matters. As prestigious and hoity-toity as the wine industry was/is, it didn't matter. It doesn't make any one better, the world more peaceful or give anyone real purpose. Like anything, its a great hobby, but what legacy would I have left behind? "She sold me a great Roussanne, something I never would've tried" not exactly the headstone I want.

So as I sort out all the topics of daily life coursing through my brain I promise to try to stick to one. On most days. Not all.

husband is hunting elk/deer (Im praying for an elk) so dinner tonight is kids choice! Luckily they love gnocchi so its Pumpkin gnocchi w/green beans (from garden) and pepper bacon and some funny melon we got at the farmers market. I think a Guinness is calling my name tonight or maybe a Black Butte Porter a bit wined out somehow.