Normal People...

When normal people use the last of the mayonnaise they make a mental or physical note of the outage and continue on their merry way. When not so normal people, ie: me, run out of mayonnaise they begin scouring cookbooks for that recipe they know they saw. Confident in their abilities, being that they have made said product, once upon a time and it's simply not that hard. There's what? Three ingredients? Seriously, how hard can this be? First question...How many eggs does it take to make a recipe that only calls for 1 egg? That's easy! Recipe calls for 1 so 1. Um, no. It apparently takes 5. Sure it calls for 1 but that doesn't make much and being so easy that Elijah could turn out a batch, I should probably double the recipe. OK, 2 to start. Hmmmm, seems a food processor is not the best equipment, I broke the mayo. Read to pull it back, transfer to a bowl with whisk attachment, start with another egg (that would be 3) and whip in. Still. Not. Coming. Back. Together... Dump everything in garbage. Begin again. OK. Let's do 1 egg. Now up to 4. Slooooowly add oil. Looking good. Add a bit more...and blech. Oily, globby, mess being flung all over me by my #$%@# hand mixer. Dump in garbage. Grab bowl, balloon whisk, 1.more.egg (we're up to 5!!!) put in bowl, commence right bicep workout. And Voila!!! 5 eggs later I have 1 egg mayonnaise. Just one example of the lengths I go to, as to NOT take 3 kids to the store.