Perspective

I like to get a little sometimes, perspective that is, and my kids seem to offer it up in droves. The other night as I was putting dinner on the table, it was your typical week day night. Eric working late, Ethan trying to set the table with Elaina's protests in full swing as to where he was now sitting her. Elijah was trying to grab at whatever food was prematurely placed while Ethan swatted him away. The noise was not steadily increasing, it was already as increased as it could get. When of course the phone rings. Being the lover of caller ID, I see that it is my soon to be pediatrician, yes, it's taken me a year to get around to transferring our files and I was not about to miss this call!!! I answer it as I'm walking into my bedroom, closing the door to some what muffle the screams, screeches and general forelorn cries of dinner time injustice continuing in the dining room. In between listening to my new receptionist/nurse I can hear it continue to escalate and then...stop.

"OOOOOOHHHHH, the Lord is good to meeeeeeee. And so I thank the Looooooord!!! For giving me, the things I need, the sun and the rain and the apple seed the Lord is good to me.Amen."

"G'me THAT!"

"No!!!!"

"Ethaaaaaaaan!!!!"

"I want it"

"STOP IT!!!!"

Yes, the screaming ensued.
They can't sit at the same seat two nights in a row to help quell the majority of the problems. Fiesta Ware be damned, since now they argue over who gets what color and of course they all want to eat at once and will beat each other to death in the process, but before that process can begin... You must say grace.

Pondering...

I guess that's the sign of a good book, it makes you think. Whether fiction or non, it puts you in the story. I don't feel like doing an unsolicited book report here but I thought I would just write down a couple things that are really staying with me.

This is the true joy of life; the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one, being a force of Nature rather than a feverish selfish little cloud of ailments complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy... George Bernard Shaw

Wow.

I read that tonight and wanted to make an iron-on transfer for every shirt I own. How joyful would you be to know that your very purpose is important and here's the clincher... YOU KNOW IT!?!?! You have a passion for this endeavour that makes you akin to a force of nature. Forces of nature are tornado's, hurricanes!!! I want to be a hurricane for my cause, don't you? Don't sit around sniveling for the world to fix itself, fix it!!! I love it.

I have a desk calender that I put my "schedule" on. I have it planned out all the way to December 31st. First day's of school in fall, 1/2 days, teacher planning days, play dates, potential playdates/outings are now popping up. I fill it up with confidence that I will be here to see those days, I have no reason to think I won't and am not trying to be morbid by any means. But what if I'm not. You never schedule in "find lump" or "get in car accident". Yes, I'm reading about living your life with no regrets and basically wondering if I have any.

I took Ethan to school the other day, hugged him (which I don't always do), told him I loved him (which I do always do) and watched him walk into school. Usually, I turn immediately and head back home but this time I just watched. I said a prayer that at 3 o'clock I would see him in reverse, turned toward me, walking into my smile instead of away from it. We simply don't know what each moment will bring. I'm not about to be the fretting over-protective mom that won't let them out the door for fear of an impending rogue comet. I am, going to make sure that the last words they here from me is I love you. I am, going to make sure we go to bed at night without any regrets, I should've, why didn't I, if only... When I lay down at night, I want to simply sleep.

So, what is my tsunami? I have a few actually but the most prevalent is my kids. Have they always been? Admittedly, no. I have tried working harder, being out later, dropping them off earlier because it's not easy to be an attentive parent. It IS easy to say "yes I'll play that game with you after dinner" knowing full well you won't. Or, "yes, I'll color with you after this chapter or when I'm done surfing meaningless fluff on the Internet" again knowing they will otherwise occupy themselves until "Oh look at the time, get ready for bed!!!" A wake up call every now and again that this isn't about me is always nice. Do I have regrets about our past? Not really necessary I suppose, because I'm simply trying to move forward. They are most definitely forces of nature in their own right, I want to be one too.

To my non-foodie friends...

Alright, I can take some flack for talking down to the masses for my interpretation of a simple meal and for that you now get a crash course in my pantry staples!!! You'll never do that again will ya!!! HA!

First off...you need to make as much of everything as possible and oddly you probably have most the ingredients to do that!!!
Bread= flour, water, yeast, sugar/honey, salt, maybe milk and maybe some oil (butter/shortening or oil). These will make in some combination, rarely all ingredients needed; bread (sandwich and french), pancakes, waffles, biscuits, buns (hamburger or hot dog depending on shape) and the all important pizza dough.
pantry should have multiple shapes pasta and types rice/starch (couscous, quinoa; it's a really good grain, not chicken food ;) )
multiple types beans, dried AND canned.
all forms canned tomatoes.
emergency cream of mushroom soup for when you forget to get mushrooms at the store or use the last in that fritata that the kids refused to eat.
Other baking items would be all kinds sugars, powdered, granulated, light and brown but also raw for sprinkling on muffins or scones, it's the little things don't you know!!!
Packaged chicken and beef stock in case your freezer has run low on home-made.

Acid!!!
lemons, limes, oranges are staples. As is wine, red and white. Less frequently used but just as important liquor!!! Grand Marnier, yum! Vermouth is not only for martinis, dry is great in marinades use the same amount you would with your favorite cocktail!!! A light hand! Pernod is an anise (licorice) flavored liquor and again a little is enough to deglaze (get the chunks off the bottom) of your pan and make your guests wonder where you got the recipe! Also great on a hot day with some club soda, but I digress. Bourbon makes a great sauce, again a light hand is key, the little airline bottle is more than enough! Any leftovers with some sweet vermouth and a cherry is a bonus!

Keep veggies simple, toss with olive oil, salt and roast to carmelly goodness!!

Meat, get the best you can afford and prepare it simply. Good components don't need to be fussed over, that's the beauty of it! A little salt and pepper or your favorite rub and bake or grill, done!

Cooking seems like such a daunting task, something most say they've never been able to do, they can't get the combinations right etc... But if you use good stuff, you don't have to DO anything to it!!! Grill the meat, bake the potato, roast or grill the veg, simple, good, easy.

For the record the kids had McDonald's tonight and we had frozen leftovers from last week. It's always about balance, not obsession.

Happy Aniversary!!!

Not my marriage, that's in July.

One year ago, I quit my job.

One year ago, I had one cup of coffee every morning, now I have to have 2 and another about 3pm.

One year ago, I feared my heart was giving out on me, now I feel better than I have in years.

One year ago, I was too over-whelmed to watch the kids by myself, now I actually miss being away from them, which doesn't happen often.

One year ago, I couldn't imagine taking all three any where other than a park, now I'm confident enough to take them to multiple venues running errands.

One year ago, I thought my worth was measured by how much money I was contributing to the family, now I know my contribution is so much more.

One year ago, I was depressed and felt sorry for myself, now I'm thankful for every waking moment.


Our marriage anniversary will always be the most important, this anniversary is for my family. It's the one where I finally put them first. This is the anniversary of financial sacrifice and the anniversary of learning to live selflessly. I have a long way to go still but I've taken the step. I've started down a path I don't ever want to veer from. So I thank you my love, for affording me the opportunity to save what's left of my sanity. Thank you for working so hard to allow me to be there for the kids physically and emotionally which hopefully means I can do the same for you. This is our families anniversary of change, it's not just my day. It's ours.

A little food, a little wine...

Since I am supposed to be talking about food and wine too, I figured I would post something on the subject. I realize I started out with good intentions. Putting whatever the nights meal was and recipes on the site, so possibly, one day, the kiddos could look back and say oh that's how she made that! Alas, I quickly discovered how often I make the same stuff and therefore posting the same meal over and over seemed rather redundant for obvious reasons. The other reason I haven't posted a lot of recipes is because to me they are pretty simplistic and don't merit the mention. Tonight was angel hair pasta with shrimp, garlic and tomatoes de-glazed with some Pernod. No biggie, takes 5 min, kids loved it. Last night chicken, rice, broccoli casserole, not exactly rocket science. While Ethan was in school I made some basic white sandwich bread, again throw ingredients in mixer, turn on, let raise. No biggie. Tomorrow brats, steeped in beer then grilled with onions, mash some potatoes and a veggie tbd and voila again. I started planning out my menu every two weeks so I wasn't having chicken every night or pasta three nights in a row, it seems to be working and I don't have to literally think as much. That's the goal really, by dinner time I honestly just want to be on auto-pilot. The winter dull-drums have kicked in. I cringe buying Argentinian asparagus and so end up getting nothing. The chickens raided the garden a week ago and my cauliflower that was ever so close to forming heads was decimated. I raised my fence and am slowly coxing everything back to life but my dreams of garden fresh produce in winter have been dashed. My rampini seems to be pulling itself up by its boot-straps and I'm holding on to a glimmer of hope that it will still produce but for now I'm forced to buy veggies that have seen more of America than I have. Vino of choice lately has been pretty tame and pretty much sticking to the house variety, maybe I'll venture to open something more inspiring tonight, truth be told I'm feeling like some bubbly but I think I'll settle for a good chard which I have about twice a year... Bottle now securely placed in freezer, hopefully I won't forget it there, as much as I like finding frozen wine, I think I'll pass. This post has taken on that ever present tone of simplify, simplify, simplify. If I can beat anything into my cherub's heads, it's to not over complicate things. Don't over think, don't over do, don't over schedule, etc... moderation my dear ones. It's all over the news right now how Americans are all simplifying because of the economy, I do it for my sanity.

A shout out to my girls...

As Ethan's sing-song folly about me having girlfriends comes to an end I can't help but smile. He of course thinks it's oh so funny that mommy would have a girlfriend, considering he can't think of anything quite so disgusting. I laugh and say yes, I do. Not just one girlfriend but many. That is not an easy task mind you. I've spent the better part of the past 10 years with out anyone I felt I could really confide in other than my husband and even he doesn't want to hear everything! I've had the bad habit of picking friends that I've had things in common with, things meaning hobbies/kids/outside interests. Now I'm finally graduating to friends with the same core values. Amazingly, it no longer matters if we have one hobby in common. We don't have to all love to cook, we don't all have to want to go jogging at 4am, scrapbook, gardening or go antiquing. We do want to raise our kids as best we can, we do want to give our burdens over to an amazing Lord that we know will take care of it. Often times this happens once we have thoroughly vented to each other and possibly consumed copious amounts of a good cab but it happens none-the-less!!! I remember in high school, how my parents would always talk about the importance of surrounding yourself with people that had your same values. I of course thought I was impervious to any others views. I was a strong "woman" at 16 and could certainly keep my beliefs in check amongst the heathens. I think I'll be a bit more adamant about it with my kids knowing how impossible it truly is. Surround yourself with turkeys and you'll soon start to gobble. HA! like that? Sorry, I still hold out some hope that one day my kids will read this and get some sort of gleaming words of wisdom from mom. I don't want them to be shaking hands with 40 when they finally start listening to that voice that says it's OK to be themselves. I finally am being my real self and God has surrounded me with a group of women that actually think that's just fine. Funny how that happens. I raise my glass of port ('97 Warres, mmmmmm) to all my girlfriends. "May neighbours respect you, Trouble neglect you, The angels protect you, And heaven accept you." Salut!!!

Here we go...

You would think 7 years would be enough time to prepare. Enough time to get all my thoughts in order and have it all laid out. Diagrams drawn up, the speech rehearsed but when it comes down to it, I'm simply not ready to have "the talk". Unfortunately with a hormone enraged rooster strutting his stuff the last few days the inevitable is about to happen.


"Man I caught Crowey being mean to one of the girls again! He was standing on her back and pecking her head!!!"

Luckily Ethan was able to "save" the chicken, much to Crowey's mounting (hahaha) protests. In a perfect world I will simply say Crowey is trying to make chicks that's how they do it and he will say Oh, OK, no problem. Somehow I doubt that will be the case. I sense way more explaining than I would like to do and my dream now is to hopefully stick to the animal world, leaving homosapien's out of the picture. Again I see this as having a fleeting to slim chance of happening. Innocence lost. Never to look at well anyone the same again. Just another job of parenthood that we have to suck up and do, ignorance is not bliss, ignorance makes me a grandmother at 40. Thanks a lot Crowey, I'm starting to picture him bathing in a bottle burgundy more and more.