The shower scene

With a newborn most mom's find it rather brain rattling to partake in a shower. What if the baby rolls over for the first time off the couch, down the stairs and into that large hole we've been meaning to fill in the basement???? He could get hungry and start to cry while I'm humming a tune and I'll emerge from my bliss to a withered little mass with recessed eyes and protruding belly all because I selfishly wanted to get clean!!! So we pack the little bean into the bathroom w/us. Unfortunately movement and the desire to see the world, not just us takes over. Now showers offer a whole other level of concern. Locking them in their crib or waiting till nap time seem the likely solution. Until they stop napping...and silently wait for you to slip into the beckoning shower.

I make sure they're all fed. I lock up the cabinets, fridge and freezer. Make sure the dog has gone potty and start to issue the threats. Do not...paint yourself with the art supplies. Do not...jump on the dog. Do not...play jedi knights with any cutlery. Do not...pile up the pillows by the fireplace hearth so you can jump off the coffee table onto them. Do not...put ANYTHING in Elijah's diaper...and so it goes on.

Taking a shower is a bit like going to check the mail. They know right where you are and you are otherwise occupied, it's the perfect window of opportunity. An ungodly amount of destruction can occur in this window.

7 :15am, I turn on the shower, leaving the door cracked of course. The room fills with steam and I step in to warmth, comfort and relaxation. What was that? definitely the dining table chair moving across the kitchen floor. Cabinets slamming, muffled whining, more sliding across kitchen floor, arguing starting to break out, more slamming, water turning on, laughing...lots of laughing. Barking! Barking! Barking! protests escalating, SCREAMING!!!! Something crashes, scurrying of feet and chairs. Still muffled crying now coming closer...shower pulls back...I have no idea what you're all saying!!!! Stop!!! One at a time!!! Get out!!! No you don't need a band-aid! Why are you blue??? No, you don't need medicine! Is that Chloe's bone in your diaper? Well take it out!!! No I can't get you milk right now!! JUST GOOOOOOO!!!!!! silence.

7:19am, I emerge...towel off, get dressed and go to assess the situation. Ethan is playing bionicle's in front of the fireplace, Elijah is thumbing through a book and Elaina is curled up on the couch with a blanket and Chloe at her feet watching cartoons. The kitchen is wet. A chair is turned over and 4 band-aid wrappers are strewn about in various conditions of disarray. Apparently the result of the destructive powers of gremlins not the sweet cherubs now reclining quietly by the fire. Beware my little opportunists my time is coming.